Ophidiophobia

OPHIDIOPHOBIA

Whilst many of us have natural inborn fears and anxieties, there are times in our lives when these can get out of hand.

It may be quite natural for us to be fearful of extreme heights as many people do not relish mountaineering, as an example. In such a case we can cope quite happily without ever climbing a mountain.   However, for some clients of mine even the thought of a particular fear can cause panic.

Take Carol (a fictitious name) for example. In 1995, she presented to me with a fear of snakes – Ophidiophobia.   Now that is quite unusual as few of us meet snakes in our daily lives and may even avoid the reptile enclosures in zoos.   However, Carol was in quite an anxious state and even asked if there were any snakes in my consulting room! I quickly put her at ease by saying, if there were, they would be got rid of before I entered as I too dislike snakes though I am not paranoid about them.

In hypnosis, I traced back her fears to a moment when she was seven years old.   She had been playing hide and seek on Penglais Hill at Aberystwyth with a friend and was hiding in some ferns when a snake, presumably a grass snake or adder, slid alongside her. She screamed and ran home sobbing, and from that day onwards never went to Penglais Hill again and was always in fear of snakes appearing. Any new place she visited had to be vetted first until she was assured that no snakes were present.

I removed all her fears and phobias using Hypnotherapy but was perplexed as to how I could demonstrate that she would be calm with a snake confrontation.

She went on holiday to Blackpool and came back all smiles and said she had actually had a snake draped over her body. It was my turn to be shocked how this could happen until she told of an Indian entertainer who made his living on the prom at Blackpool by draping his pet cobra over willing holidaymakers.

Carol said it was a most excelling event in her life, and although I shuddered, she was truly cured and delighted.

“Rather her than me!” I said.

Yours in good health,

Anthony Wilson.

Hypnotherapy Wiltshire

Have I The Right?

The Rights Charter.

I have the right to be treated with respect as any other human being.

I have the right to acknowledge my needs as being equal to those of others.

I have the right to express my opinions , thoughts and feelings.

I have the right to make mistakes.

I have the right to choose not to take responsibility for other people.

I have the right to be me without being dependant on the approval of others.

Yours in good health, Anthony Wilson Hypnotherapy Wilshire

The man who thinks he can

THE MAN WHO THINKS HE CAN

If you think you are beaten, you are

If you think you dare not, you don’t’

If you’d like to win, but think you can’t

It’s almost a clinch you won’t

If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost

For out in the world we find

Success being with a fellow’s will

It’s all in the state of mind

If you think you’re outclassed, you are

You have to think high to rise

You’ve got to be sure of yourself

Before you can win a prize

Life’s battles don’t always go

To the stronger or fastest man

But sooner or later the one who wins

Is the man who thinks he can?

Yours in good health Anthony Wilson Hypnotherapy Wiltshire

Dealing with depression

Depression is a common problem which I deal with on almost a daily basis and hypnotherapy is particularly effective in overcoming this malady.

Depression is a disorder of emotion, sadness that has become pathological and can become healing as it may take the fight out of aggression.

It may conceal aggression to a close another and self-reproach.

Depressives cannot tolerate disappointments.

In loss relationships and marriage may compensate sometimes temporarily.

Poor childhood attachments may lead to loneliness rejection and unloved feelings.

Anxiety is a child leads to insecurity particularly after bereavement, loss of control over events, fate, and emotions.

“I failed before, and I will always fail “creates a vicious cycle as negative thoughts are a rationalisation of negative states.

Yours in good health Anthony Wilson Hypnotherapy Wiltshire

Ochlophobia is the extreme fear of crowds

Ochlophobia

This phobia of crowds has become more prevalent in the last 15 years throughout the western world.

Once, years ago, we could creep to our small corner shop, ask quietly for a few household items, then back to the safety of our homes.

Nowadays with a lot of the small, intimate and friendly stores having been run out of business, we are left with large intimidating shopping malls and out of town huge shopping complexes. Little wonder that if we are intimidated by crowds we will be terrified of huge cavernous buildings with hordes of people rushing around, and so this may drive us to a nervous disposition and so create Ochlophobia.

Add to this the isolated environment in some of our homes where we draw the curtains and sit huddled around our TVs, or even as a motorist, isolated in our cars, with a frenetic life rushing past us.

Take Molly, as I shall call her. At 70 years of age, she came for help as she could no longer tolerate the crowds milling around the checkout and aisles in Tesco’s.  Never a great socialiser, but gradually she withdrew more and more until she had to telephone Tesco for home deliveries as she was terrified of people, so even meeting two or three people sent her into a panic mode.

Eventually, one of her friends who used to meet her for lunch dates suggested she came to my clinic.

I first had to set about restoring her confidence in herself, which meant listening to hypnotic tapes made for her personally. Once she felt a bit safer, she then started to venture out of her house again with her friend at her side.

As her phobia began to lessen and her confidence crept back, she recorded her steady progress on special forms I gave her so she could view the steps forward.

Eventually, under my guidance in hypnosis, she could visualise herself going to checkouts and remaining calm.  She is now completely cured and can go into any shop however large, but better still, socialises regularly at the Brangwyn Hall and the Grand Theatre, and you may know how full that can get.

The essential is to always stay with your therapist until you are “bomb proof”.

Many years ago, one caring husband would accompany his wife through the treatment and all was progressing well as she went from just passing in front of restaurants to actually eating in crowded rooms.  However, her husband decided to test her.  As a “treat”, and before I could stop him, he took her to “Barons Nightclub” but as the doors opened, the hundreds of people, smoke, loud noise, and heat freaked her out into a severe panic and she ran away.

I then had to virtually start again until we achieved total control and then she could regain her old self and party whenever she wished, even in crowded nightclubs.

Moral: “Don’t try to run before you can walk.”

Anthony Wilson Hypnotherapy Wiltshire

Cynophonia

Cynophobia

This is the fear of dogs and in a way can be quite understandable. Dogs do bite sometimes and we all come into contact with them at various stages of our lives. We all know that if a dog should bite us, then we would be hurt and perhaps in pain.   So the avoidance of caution displayed around dogs is rational and sensible to a degree. However, to suffer from a phobia one has to go to extremes of avoidance in order to stay safe.

Most of us know that if we see a dog which is loose, we would approach it with caution “just in case”. Having found the dog is friendly and playful, we may then decide to befriend the animal.  This is a natural reaction unless you really dislike dogs.

However, I have had countless clients who are phobic and take great pains to avoid even seeing a dog or puppy.

Take Sarah (as I shall call her). She came to me at 21 years of age with the hope that I could cure her. If she even saw a dog on the other side of the road she would immediately panic and run to hide away so she could not even see the dog. If she was invited to a friend’s house she would telephone first to ascertain if there were dogs in the house. Clearly she did not wish to go through the rest of her life in such a state of panic.

This can be a problem with phobias.   Nearly always they stay with a person unless the irrational fears are removed therapeutically.

When she was three years old, a dog had bitten her mother and Sarah had witnessed this and heard her mother scream in pain. A natural reaction. Whilst her mother recovered, Sarah was traumatised and her subconscious mind fought to get her to avoid all dogs in the future, so each time the subconscious mind saw a dog, it induced instant panic and so Sarah ran away quickly with adrenaline coursing through her body.

I took detailed notes of the first dog incident and a few others. Then using Hypnotherapy I removed the trauma of several incidents with dogs. As Sarah became calmer, I then used CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) wherein Sarah recorded any time she saw a dog and gave herself a 1-10 award: 1 terrified, 10 really calm and cured.

Eventually, the day came when I introduced her to my Golden Retriever Sally who befriended Sarah and lay down at her feet and they remained friends thereafter.

Then six months later, Sarah’s parents bought her a Labrador puppy and the two are now inseparable. A happy conclusion from a terrifying ordeal for many years.

Ways to build daily confidence

PRACTICAL WAYS TO DAILY BUILD CONFIDENCE

I Work each day with many clients who wish to bolster their confidence and during this therapeutic time I give them practical tips to assist their progress here are a few to help you on your way,

1 Maintaining good eye contact shows you feel confident and believe in what you’re saying. Body language expert Robert Phipps suggests “hold eye contact around 60-70 percent of the time. By doing this, you won’t make the other person feel self-conscious. Instead, it will make them feel comfortable and relaxed in your company”.

 2 GET JIGGY WITH IT Touching your partner and having sex more often releases feel-good chemicals that boost your self-esteem and sexual confidence. Sexologist Dr Gabrielle Morrissey reveals “sex is a natural mild anti-depressant, it actually revitalises you.

3 SPEAK UP Have fun with words and expand your vocabulary. Reach for that dusty old dictionary and learn a new word every week, then slip it into a conversation. Add words like “love” and “enjoy” to your sentences and this will make you sound like a person bursting with happiness and enthusiasm. Don’t be scared to project your voice either, confident people demand to be heard.

4 LOVE YOUR BODY Do you constantly beat yourself up about your looks?   Motivational consultant Claire Walton advises “observe a friend or even a celebrity who has the same body shape as you but excludes confidence. Watch their body language, eye contact and communication style. Check this against your own style and look to mirror some of their techniques”

5 KNOW YOUR GOALS AT WORK Confidence here comes from knowing what you’re good at and why, according to Suzy Greaves, a career coach from Big Leap Coaching.   “When you appear confident about your skills, you inspire confidence and people promote you”, she says “Write a list of everything you’re good at on PostpIt notes and stick them on your bathroom mirror so you’ll see it before you go to work”.

6 GO SHOPPING   It isn’t called retail therapy for nothing. Pop into a big store like John Lewis, Sports shops, Topshop and Dorothy Perkins to find out about their personal shopper services

7 STAND UP FOR YOURSELF Your posture speaks volumes about your confidence. You never see anyone slouching on the red carpet do you? Work on improving the abdominal and back muscles that surround the core area of the body and walk tall. Niki Wibrow a celebrity personal trainer says “try martial arts, yoga or Pilates”

8 GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT Keeping it level when talking to someone makes you see a confident communicator.   Body language expert Robert Phipps says “You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and what you are saying to be taken seriously” but when you want to be friendly and show that you are listening with interest, tilt your head just a little to one side or another

9 SPEAK YOUR MIND AND OPEN YOUR EARS Listening to what your partner has to say and getting them to listen what YOU have to say helps build confidence in your relationship. Psychotherapist Malcolm Stern suggests “set aside a period of time when you speak without being interrupted. Once you or your partner has finished talking relate back to them what they’ve just said”.

10 FIND YOUR GRAND PASSION Career coach Suzy Greaves explains “You’re naturally good at what you love doing. The more you excel at something, the more confident you become”. But how do you identify your passion? Suzy asks her clients these questions.

  • What was your childhood dream before everyone told you that what you wanted to do was unrealistic?
  • Who did you envy recently and why? Envy is a great tool to tell us what we really want.
  • What are you naturally good at?

What do you love doing that makes time slip by effortlessly while you’re doing it?

Anthony Wilson Hypnotherapy Wiltshire

https://anthonywilsonhypnotherapy.com 

10 Points to help stop stress

Ten Points to Help STOP STRESS

START to be aware. Once you’re aware of the problem, you can then begin to do something about it to bring control back.

 

TAKE on a different attitude. It’s not what happens to you that counts, it’s your reaction to it. If you cannot change a stress-reducing situation, then change your attitude to it.

 

ORGANISE alternate stress for yourself. Switch to something that is equally stressful, but different. That way you are using a different part of the mind and body. A desk-bound executive might take up squash, or mountain climbing. A sports professional, on the other hand, might dabble on the stock market, or set up a management consultancy. The important thing is that it is different.

 

POSITIVE thinking. If a new test seems overwhelming, think about your past success. Use them like a suit of armour to protect your confidentiality. Think of it as part of a learning process, a continuation of something you’ve always done. Positive thoughts, such as “I can handle this” or “I know more about this than anyone here” will stop the physical response to stress – quick breathing and tensing muscles. It will draw you towards the intellect, the part that really can deal with it.

 

STOP trying to do more than one job at a time. If that is not possible, then you must prioritise. That way you have taken control and developed an action plan, otherwise, you will jump from one job to another and achieve nothing but stress.

 

TAKE time out to learn mental relaxation. Most people have lost the ability to do this. Our bodies rest each day when we go to bed. How often have you awoken in the morning still feeling shattered? If you learn to switch off mentally for 20 minutes each day, you will be surprised how much better you will feel.

 

REASSESS your goals. Have your goals in life been set by you or someone else? If they are unrealistic, they will give you a continuing sense of failure. This leads to frustration and unhappiness. It lowers your ability to deal with stress. Reassess those goals, make them attainable, set your own agenda.

 

EXERCISE An extremely good way of managing stress. In a stressful situation, the body’s natural reaction is to either run or fight. It is called “Fight or Flight Response” and it works well because (a) it burns some of the stress chemicals tension produces and (b) a tired muscle is a relaxed muscle. So make exercise a part of your lifestyle. Perhaps tennis for those who are fit. For other’s swimming or walking, whichever you choose, make it part of your life.

 

SENSE of humour is very important. Laughter or tears are very good ways of reducing stress. Since tears at least for me are frowned upon, try and see the humor in potential stress situations. Learn to laugh at yourself. If you don’t there will be plenty of volunteers willing to do it for you.

 

STOP thinking and start acting now. Just as thinking about going to the gym will not get your body fit, just thinking about managing stress will not bring it under control. Some of the methods mentioned will appeal more than others. Some of them will require more effort than others. Choose one that suits you the most.

Anthony Wilson Hypnotherapy Wiltshire

Anthony Wilson